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The holidays are a time for giving, sharing and spreading as much love as you can. After doing much research I've found that where relationships are concerned it's good to be selfish sometimes. In other words share your goods with too many people and your eyes will be in for a black Christmas. The point I'm trying to make deals with the concept of monogamy. Is monogamy really the best thing where relationships are concerned? Many believe that it is though the numbers tell a different story.
Monogamy refers to the practice of restricting your number of sexual partners to one single partner. There must be a lapse in time between old relationships and new ones. If a brief overlapping period occurs this is called serial monogamy. This is opposed to polyamory or the term made famous by Austin Powers 'swinging'.
The neologism polyamory means having multiple loves. This consists of non-possessive relationships with more than one partner at a time. This is common in the modern concept of open relationships. It does not necessarily occur during marriage, hence the reason for not calling it polygamy. Swinging, however involves no emotional bond as some polyamorous relationships do. The practice of swinging usually involves one or both partners of a couple having casual sex behind the backs of their main love. This usually results in the splitting up of couples and in Trinidad the ingestion of poisonous substances and or murder.
Now that we know of the damage that many non-monogamous relationships cause, why does it remain a permanent fixture in society? Some claim that monogamists have what is called a tragic case of internalized homophobia. This basically means that people are aping heterosexual norms such as marriage in order to feel normal. This is because they view monogamy to be the only ethical choice. After all, monogamy is as old as Adam.
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It is not wise however to attack monogamy from a biblical stand point. For the apostle Paul says "Every thing is permissible'-but not everything is beneficial." Human nature dictates that as long as there is wild sex involved everything is beneficial. The point should be taken though, that every action no matter how good it may seem has a consequence. If you decide to partake in a non-monogamous relationship, make sure everyone involved knows.
Christianity has left itself in a quagmire regarding the notion of two person relationships itself in the first place. This is because it is unclear when or why exactly it became wrong to have multiple partners. It was not uncommon for Catholic priests to have multiple wives and mistresses. In 76AD, a man could take another mistress if his wife was sick as long as he looked after her. Due to stipulations regarding church inheritance, it was deemed that all sons of priests were illegitimate. Popes proceeded to ban, and then void all existing marriages to priests. Hence a vow of celibacy was taken by many priests.
Other religions have had light stances on the idea of monogamy. Muslims according to Islamic law have the ability to have multiple wives. Each wife shares in the daily wifely duties along with the others. The husband equally divides his time and love to all of his wives.
Monogamy has also been a key word wherever health issues and sex is concerned. It is recommended that in order to be safe from STD's and other health issues one should stay in a trusting monogamous relationship. Polyfidelity (Restricting your self to one group of people) can provide similar protection if everyone stays within the bounds of the group and healthy before joining.
The main reason I saw for having a monogamous relationship has to do with raising children. It is evident that in order to have well brought up, healthy children, two parents are better than one. I'm not saying that people who partake in polygamous relationships shun their fraternal responsibilities, but it would be easier if they were monogamous. Having your kid grow up around different people all the time may shed new light on the term "Who's Your Daddy." At least make sure he knows the answer in the true sense of the phrase.
Many people do not classify homosexual relationships as being monogamous. Stigma surrounding homosexuals cause many to believe that they are sex-crazed freaks who go about having sex randomly with whoever is willing. Some on the other hand do not even look at homosexuals as having relationships, but more so a vice. This is because there is little jurisdiction in favor of Gay marriage world wide and common perceptions are made based on law.
Speaking of law, some tribes and even small countries around the globe, have denounced all matter of non-monogamous dealings. It is believed that the immorality of polygamy is one way of bringing down society. These accusations are believed by non-monogamists to be so trite, that it can also be perceived that the people who created those laws are jealous because they lack the mojo to get any.
All in all monogamy seems to be soon a thing of the past as rates decline worldwide. Values are changing constantly; hence it is more common to see open relationships on the mainstream. Men seem to have a slight edge on women in the number of non-monogamous relationships they are a part of. Gay people (Lesbians included) have a slight edge on both men and women in terms of this mild form of promiscuity.
Though the basis of it being morally wrong is the major stumbling block in abandoning monogamy altogether, it seems that monogamy may still have some merit. Children's lives are stake, as well as the general sanity of those you love. STD's can be prevented if one enters the monogamous relationship 'clean', however, with the proper precautions it can also be prevented otherwise. So swing at your own risk. Remember though that when you swing high, a low's bound to come.
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