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its hard to get to know people in a samll town and I wish that I could
The hardest battle you're going to fight is the battle to be just you.
-Leo Buscaglia
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It seems as if so much of my time and energy has been focused in trying to make others pleased with me. The unspoken belief was that if I could please others that their satisfaction of me would result in my own happiness. I have learned that you can only neglect yourself for so long before it becomes just unbearable. It is absolutely necessary to succeed at loving yourself before you can even begin to find happiness with others. Loving yourself is different than being stuck-up. In fact you would be surprised to know how many people who act conceited really have a low opinion of themselves. Self-love is accepting you and treating yourself with gentle loving kindness. I seldom think about being understanding or forgiving to myself, but it is so important. My purpose in speaking today is to reveal who I am and the qualities that make me me. I have been shaped by many influences among them are my family and friends. Inside this bag I have four items that signify gratitude, hope, forgiveness, and unity, which all embody who I am inside.
Albert Einstein once said there are two ways you can live your life. One is as though nothing is miracle. The other is as though everything is miracle. Which one do you live?Or realistically which do you wish you lived? I choose this angel to represents my everyday miracles. It's really beautiful. My belief in miracles is because of my religious background. Gratitude is a very powerful feeling. It can heal great suffering.When I am feeling real bad and not to pleased with myself, I consciously change my thinking. I think about positive things. Things that I am grateful for. My family cares for me. I am healthy. I continue to make these mental notes about what I am thankful for and then after I take a few breaths I am always surprised at how different I feel. It really picks me up when I am down. Being appreciative for what I have is important to me. I don't want to take any of my everyday miracles for granted whether they are people, opportunities or myself.
Albert Einstein did not speak until he was four years old and he could not read until he was seven. His teacher described him as "mentally slow, unsociable and adrift forever in his foolish dreams." he was expelled from school. That's a surprise to many of us who have heard nothing but praise about Einstein. Do you think he lost confidence or hope in him self even though others obviously did not support him? I think he had his own things going on in his minds and that his supposable foolish dreams were fulfilled by his strong hope. Here is a small piece of my hope bottled up inside like so many other things inside of me. My hope is all that I have to hold in myself when I have no one.I can't rely on others to give me hope because people come and go; I am the most permanent thing in my life. I choose to love myself, respect myself and promise myself that I will have the hope to dream.
Have you been every told that forgiveness is not deserved, but always needed? I was always taught to value the power of forgiveness. Forgiveness is not only a gift to those you grant it to but a powerful too in increasing your love for self and your capacity to love others. To hold onto hateful feelings only poisons your own heart. I always try to forgive others and myself. Inside this book are pages filled with feelings that only poisoned me and I wonder sometimes why I wrote them, but I need to bring them to surface in order to them behind me. Writing is my outlet. My voice. My tool for forgiveness.
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