Bottling Guilt: The Ballooning Effect

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Guilt is an emotion that we create inside ourselves. It is something that a person can only feel inwardly towards himself. Once the action that created the guilt is confessed or discovered, the guilt is rid of the soul and replaced with shame and humiliation. Throughout Nathaniel Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter, the "pure" Reverend Arthur Dimmsdale holds onto the guilt for his adulterer sins. As a result of bottling up his guilt, it grows out of control inside him and becomes the largest guilt of all the characters, eventually consuming everything that he is.

In Dimmsdale's attempt to persuade Hester to confess the name of her fellow adulterer, he makes it clear that it should bring them both great peace if she speaks his name. In one part of his speech he says, "Be not silent from any mistaken pity and tenderness for him; for, believe me, Hester, though he were to step down from a high place, and stand there beside thee, on the pedestal of shame, yet better were it so, than to hide a guilty heart through life" (60). Unable to confess himself, Dimmsdale thinks that saving himself of a guilty heart, and instead taking on the pedestal of shame might save his soul. But, instead of following God and confessing for his sins, he holds them in and the guilt begins to grow.

As Chillingworth becomes Dimmsdale's caretaker, they have a couple of deep symbolic conversations where Chillingworth torments Dimmsdale greatly. In response to a question about the Hester's pain, Dimmsdale says, "But still, methinks, it must needs be better for the sufferer to be free to show his pain, as this poor woman Hester is, than to cover it all up in his heart" (11-1). While Dimmsdale keeps his guilt locked up inside, it swells and blisters. On the other hand, Hester is allowed to wear what remains of her guilt, now shame, on her chest. Dimmsdale knows that confessing would rid him of his guilt and much of his pain. But, as an icon of spirituality in the community, Dimmsdale fears that acknowledging his sin to save himself may have a counteractive affect on the community. Their once "pure" source for spiritually enlightenment could be viewed with a disgust that could damage the morals and spirits of the community. He holds his guilt in longer as it grows like a giant balloon being blown up gradually. The longer he refrains from letting the air, representing guilt, the larger the balloon, representing personal torment, grows. Letting the air out would free him of his pain. Instead, the guilt keeps on pumping in and expanding.

During a meeting in the forest, Hester and Dimmsdale discuss a way to "escape" their sin. Hester sees the pain the Dimmsdale has been holding within and states, "Thou art crushed under this seven years' weight of misery" (181). She refers to the guilt has having crushed him, and truly, it has. But, she thinks that she has found a way to forget their transgressions and start a new life together. She believes that running away to Europe will allow Dimmsdale to break away from his guilt. Knowing that guilt is an internalized feeling we create ourselves, this would do him no good. Moving a thousand miles away from the town in which he has suffered the past seven years, does not mean that he will leave his guilt behind. The only thing that can bring that guilt out and cast it away in exchange for shame would be confessing.

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In the second to last chapter, as Dimmsdale confesses, Chillingworth cries out, "Thou hast escaped me! Thou hast escaped me!" (4). Indeed Dimmsdale has escaped Chillingworth's torment. And not only that, he has escaped his own torment produced by the monster amount of guilt he once held within. His guilt balloon had finally expanded to a point where all it could do was pop. No other character contained near this much guilt and as a result the confession was a very dramatic ending to the book.

Hawthorne, Nathaniel. The Scarlet Letter. New York The Modern Library, 000.

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Accidental Death of an Anarchist

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It was night. It meant darkness, the silent throttle of the black. A time when everyone's fears surfaces, none were safe from its deathly glow. Silently it seeped into the dusk, chewing on the light, inflicting pain upon it.

Occasionally there was a red sky, as thought war had struck in the heavens and the blood sepped down to the earth.All objects carried the tinted red, the ground, all.It is merely the black ridding of sanity.

The most hide into there homes, secretly fearing the night, although we would never admit it.Many strange occurrences have appeared because of the night.This was definitely the time.

Emily woke up abruptly in bed, her senses sharpening, adjusting to the environment.She kept her eyes closed, an old fear she lived by.Never open them at night, for she might see strange beings standing in her room; they may condemn her to death.At eight years old she was still young enough to believe stories her older siblings told her, mainly about ghosts haunting her room and meaning her harm.

She pulled the quilt closer to her face.The bedroom was rather chilly.The cold was carried in the air and felt heavy, as though a thick icy blanket had been wrapped around hr.The frigid air was under the sheets. It had seeped into the fabric determined to chill its victim.The cold had made its way into her flesh.Shivering she turned on her side, the blankets pulled close to her chin.Shivering again she listened to the night noises.

Outside it was rather windy.A roar broke through the old chimney that had remained in her bedroom for many years.The wind charged through the old funnel and into her room, adding more coldness into the air. Once more a rush of wind gushed into the room.It was like a frozen giant's nose breathing out great gasps of air, yet it didn't breathe inwards.

Emily yawned, squeezing her eyes even tighter.She wished to fall back into sleep, but something kept her awake.At the window she heard the panes squeaking as bony twigs grasped the glass.They were the giant's fingers, trying to enter.Giving in she opened her eyes and saw blackness swirling around her like thick fog.Her eyes adjusted slowly, squinting at an unrecognisable shape at her bed.It was a ghostly outline as though smudges in chalk.As her eyes adjusted, they widened in disbelief.A figure stood at the tip of her bed.A long cloak fluttered in the breeze blown by the wind entering her chimney.

The fabric was worn and was much lighter then the darkness of night.A few cob webs clung to the material, dragging on the carpeted floor.The figure's feet could not be seen under the cloak, it was as though it was hovering slightly off the ground...

Emily felt like screaming, yet it would not surface from her throat.She was suddenly very was wide awake, her eyes transfixed to this strange figure.Through the mist she could distinguish a fearsome head.The creature had the face of a skull.Blood red in colour, as thought mouldy or stained with blood.Darker red clung to the bones, which looked like skin dried with age.Two eerie black pits burned into its victim.They were hollow and abandoned yet they contained a ferocious quality.An evil smirk seemed to be on the skull's face.There were no lips, yet large teeth also coated in a strange rusty red.

Emily shook with fright trying to force a scream to her lips, but it refused to come.The figure pointed a bony hand at her.It resembled the gnarled twigs that still tapped impatiently at her bedroom window.It pointed at her with the index finger.The fingernails on each of the hand were black and dead.The figure moved towards her.With that, Emily let out a loud scream, hiding her head under the quilt.

In a matter of seconds thumping footsteps came from out of her parent's bedroom and on the landing.A bright light blinded her, as she pushed out her head from under the blanket.Her mother embraced her in a warm hug, concern showing on her face.

"What's wrong Emily?" she asked.Emily looked to the place the figure where the figure had been, but it had disappeared, except for a black tatter of fabric.

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Let Freedom Ring!

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Dustin Wright

Intermediate Composition1

Extended Definition

May , 00

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Freedom

Has anyone ever sat back and wondered what freedoms they have? Every U.S. citizen has freedom. In fact, it's the privilege we most often take for granted. A freedom for example, can be as minor as someone's parents letting their child go to a party or as complicated as the First Amendment. The Webster's New Explorer Dictionary and Thesaurus defines freedom as " the quality or state of being free. Unrestricted use." Although the definition is true to some extent, I think freedom means the ability to exercise choice and the exemption from unpleasant or confined conditions.

The word freedom and the word liberty are interchangeable. They both mean the right to choose. Remember this famous quote from Patrick Henry, "Give me liberty or give me death?" Just substitute the word freedom in for liberty, and the quote will mean the same.

Freedom though, involves much more than just being free. According to the Disabled American Veterans, "Freedom isn't free." First we have to fight to gain it and that means a lot of blood will be shed in the process. For example, the U.S. military fights to preserve freedom. Just look at all the past wars we've engaged in. The Revolutionary War was fought so the colonists could gain their independence from the realm of Britain. World War II was fought to preserve our political rights. Just imagine what America would be like if Germany had won. Recently for example, in Operation Enduring Freedom the U.S. military fought to free the Iraqi people from the unpleasant and confining conditions of their dictator, Saddam Hussein. America in general wants to pass on their political freedoms to other countries so that they may feel the joy in being able to make their own decisions. The Iraqi people experienced a great sense of joy when the statue of Saddam Hussein fell in Baghdad. Civilians were later seen stomping on the fallen statue shouting, " Thank you America!"

The Al-Quada group of terrorists must be jealous of our freedoms. If someone takes a glance at the Arab population they will notice everyone dressed the same and the men with beards grown to a specific length. Then look at America and see that we are all dressed differently and we all look different. This is so we each have our own individual identity. The Arab people do not have individual identities. To try to bring down America, Al-Quada destroyed important buildings and killed more than a thousand innocent civilians. It didn't take long though and the American people rebounded from this tragedy stronger than ever. Many citizens joined together in the clean up process to get the country back to normalcy.

As U.S. citizens we enjoy the right of not knowing what imprisonment is. Just imagine how it would feel to live in fear knowing that if someone spoke out against the government they could be thrown in jail and left to die. Freedom on the other hand, is like a flower blowing in the wind on a hot summer day. It allows us to express our thoughts and emotions without paying a hefty price.

Overall, I think the word freedom means the ability to exercise choice and the exemption from unpleasant or confined conditions. I feel many people take this word for granted. Many of our citizens put their lives on the line to protect this great country of ours, yet they go unnoticed. Mothers and wives, who received notification letters of dead sons and husbands, have been left to grieve for centuries. Hundreds of men gave their lives on the beaches of Normandy and Omaha. Many of the fallen go unidentified, simply to be buried with just a cross to mark the grave. Why has all this happened? The answer is to preserve freedom. The word freedom is a huge part of who we are. Recently, I asked Joe Lanning, who is a junior, his interpretation of the word freedom, "Freedom is what we have so much of, yet appreciate so little." Senior, Chris Rosetto says, "Freedom means I get to do what I want and for anyone to tell me I can't means I'm not free. Don't get me wrong, the things I do will be moral." Frankly, Freedom is the greatest privilege we will ever be given.

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Act4: Macbeth

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Act 4, Scene 1 At the witches' haunt, the weird sisters and Hecate are busy preparing the potion that will bring about Macbeth's ruin.Macbeth enters and asks to speak to the witches' masters about the future.An apparition takes the form of a helmeted head and tells Macbeth to beware the Thane of Fife (Macduff).A second specter appears in the form of a bloody child.It tells Macbeth to be brave because "none of woman born" can kill him.(Act 4, Scene 1, Line 80) Then, a third spirit emerges in the form of a crowned child with a tree in its hand.It tells Macbeth that he shall never be vanquished until the Great Birnam Wood travels to high Dunsinane Hill (part of Inverness).Macbeth becomes relieved, because he laughs at the idea of trees moving.As a final question, Macbeth asks the witches if Banquo's sons will ever reign in Scotland.

Eight ghosts with crowns emerge, who represent the future sons of Banquo.Banquo himself appears at the end of the line with a mirror, thus implying an infinite number of descendants.Stupefied, Macbeth cannot believe his eyes and is angered to realize that despite all of his work, he wears a "fruitless crown." (Act , Scene 1, Line 61) The witches disappear and Lennox enters the haunt.He informs Macbeth that Macduff has run off to England.Macbeth decides that he must act out all of his thoughts and impulses.He determines to kill Macduff's wife and children as his first step of revenge.

Act 4, SceneLady Macduff asks Ross why her husband has suddenly fled to England.She is not aware of the troubles between Macbeth and Macduff and does not realize that she is in danger.Lady Macduff decides that her husband left his family because he did not love them anymore.Ross tries to comfort her and warns her that Scotland is a dangerous place to be at the present.

Lady Macduff tells her young son that Macduff is dead to ease the pain of his departure from the family.She also tells him that his father was a traitor.A messenger runs in and interrupts the mother-son conversation, telling Lady Macduff to escape while she can.A few moments later, murderers under the bidding of Macbeth enter the castle and kill Lady Macduff and her son.

Act 4, SceneMacduff has found Malcolm in England and the two are conversing in front of the king's palace.The two lament the evils that Scotland has suffered under the "tyrant" Macbeth's reign.Macduff tries to convince Malcolm to overthrow Macbeth.Malcolm, however, is still wary of anyone from Scotland.Thus, he pretends to be inferior to Macbeth and refuses to take the throne.He falsely states that he is licentious, greedy and materialistic.Macduff consoles Malcolm and tells him that anyone would be better on the throne than Macbeth.Touched by his patriotism and true compassion, Malcolm realizes that Macduff is not a spy and apologizes for lying to him.He agrees to help Macduff and Siward fight Macbeth.

After the two swear to help each other, Malcolm tells Macduff about the virtues of the English king.Supposedly, he is able to heal people suffering from scrofula (a tuberculosis of the lymphatic glands) by merely touching them.On a historical note, it is believed that Shakespeare's English king was based after King Edward.Edward was a saintly monarch who had the gift of healing his subjects from scrofula.Malcolm's praises of this king provides a direct contrast to the sinister Macbeth, who kills his subjects instead

"Hold fast the mortal sword, and like good men

Bestride our down-fall'n birthdom."

--Act 4, Scene , Lines -4 Macduff to Malcolm about saving Scotland

In this metaphor, Macduff compares courage to a "mortal sword." This is important because it portrays Macduff's willingness to fight for his country.

"Angels are bright still, though the brightest fell

Though all things foul would wear the brows of grace…"

--Act 4, Scene , Lines -

Malcolm compares Macbeth to a fallen angel, thus implying that he is Lucifer himself.

"I think our country sinks beneath the yoke;

It weeps, it bleeds, and each new day a gash

Is added to her wounds."

--Act 4, Scene , Lines -41 Macduff to Malcolm

Macduff draws a parallel between Scotland and a beast of burden.Like an abused animal, Scotland is on the verge of collapsing underneath its tyrannous master (Macbeth).

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Boones Accident

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On Thursday, August 8th, 00, my cousin Boone, at the age of 4, was involved in a terrible car accident. Even though the accident happened 10 miles away, it affected every family member. In fear of his life and what his future would hold, we all waited for good news.

As he was driving along a winding road in Colorado, he lost control of his Jeep. While skidding off the road and rolling, he was thrown into the wall of a brick house. When the paramedics arrived they drove him to a nearby hospital, but because of his critical injuries he was then taken by care-flight to St. Mary's Hospital in Grand Junction, Colorado.

Boone had suffered severe spinal cord injuries and a slight head injury. He was told that he would not walk again. Even though that news was devastating, his outgoing personality remained intact. When asked by the nurse, "Boone how did you get in your accident?", he replied "I was in a motorcade with the Pope." By the look of surprise on the nurse's face, Boone said, "No, I am just kidding. I was just trying to lighten things up."

Boone had to undergo daily painful tests. He thought that his doctor, Dr. Tyce, had the "I don't like Boone attitude". When Dr. Tyce came into Boone's room one morning, Boone looked up and said, "Hello, Dr. Lice!"Boone's mother said, "Boone! It's Dr. Tyce." She was somewhat embarrassed. Boone said sarcastically, "Oh yeah, hi Dr. Tyce."

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Thursday, August nd, Boone was air ambulanced to Craig Hospital in Denver, Colorado to begin his physical rehabilitation. He was at a disadvantage because of his neck halo. He could not even sit in his wheelchair correctly and had to constantly adjust himself to keep his circulation up. Boone called himself a "mountain man" because he could not get his hair cut or even washed as often as he had before the accident. He was very conscious of how he looked and thought that he frightened people. Of course those thoughts were totally wrong.

Since Boone was in a neck halo for four months, he had to lie on his back most of the time. When he was finally able to be put on his side, he asked one of the nurses for a pillow. The nurse brought in the pillows and said, "Boone, where do you want me to put them?" "Right next to me so I can cuddle with them like a white woman." Boone replied.

A few months later, Boone had the neck halo removed. As it turned out the halo wasn't solving any of the spinal injuries. Boone underwent further surgery to reinforce his fractured vertebra. From that point his healing progressed at a much faster pace. He was able to do his physical therapy more efficiently and gained some of his strength back. Although the injuries were still very serious, Boone's sense of humor continued to entertain our concerned family.

In December 00, Boone was released from Craig Hospital and flew to Austin to stay with his mother for a short while. Daily tasks that we all do automatically had to be relearned by Boone. After two months Boone was ready to return to Carbondale, Colorado where he had lived at the time of the accident. Once he got to Carbondale he had another learning process to go through, as he was completely on his own.

In the six months that Boone has been on his own in Colorado, his life has become more like it was pre-accident. He was offered a great job as a project manager for an architectural firm and is able to work from his apartment. His health is vastly improved and he is excited about his life. His attitude is great and he realizes how extremely lucky he was to not have suffered even more devastating injuries.

In August of 00, Boone called us and said, "Guess who's getting feeling back in his legs!" He can feel his right foot and his left calf and continues to get more feeling everyday. His hopes are that the feeling will continue up his legs and that the muscles will then start functioning. His has a daily regimen of exercises to strengthen his legs in preparation for the day that the muscles will begin to function.

Boone's attitude and personality have enabled him to recover from a terrible accident. With his continued desire to fully recover, Boone will conquer this challenge in his life and excel at all that he does. He has truly been an inspiration to all of his family and friends.

Word Count 775

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The Story of Creation?

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In the time before age, god existed without creation or origin. He existed and created the universe in one day. For ten millenniums he laid way thinking about what to do with his vast universe. He decided to create humans on ten planets of the universe. He would create villages for these humans to live in and would appoint leaders for each of the villages. He would create angels too carry messages to the leaders. It was said that angels had the knowledge and some of the powers of God, so they would have the power to bless the people of the ten planets. The humans and the angels lived peacefully under the rule of God for millions of years. Until one day when two angels named Jason and Freddy began to wonder the limits of God’s powers, how far they go, and can they be defeated? Freddy and Jason formed an agreement between each other secretly to overthrow God. Over the course of the years, they attracted angels willing to die for the cause. They decided that if they were ever going to defeat God, they would need to do so through the humans. They began to persuade humans that angels had the powers of God himself, and to end your life here on the ten planets would mean eternal life in heaven. One after one, people began to â€take the leap into heaven. God became angry and confused as to why they would do this. He began to weep for thousands of years has they continued to leap into heaven. Freddy and Jason became more powerful with every soul that converted and made the leap into heaven. They decided if there were going to strike the time was now. Jason approached God as to try to defeat him. Freddy betrayed Jason and began to fly towards Jason as to coming to God’s rescue. He defeated Jason and helped God take away his wings. Jason remained locked up for ten thousand years. Instead of destroying Jason’s wings, Freddy kept the wings and attached them to himself. It suddenly became obvious that Freddy’s purpose from the beginning was to trick Jason and use him to gain God’s trust. Freddy knew that Jason mind and vision was blinded by his thirst for power so he would be easily persuaded. He also knew that after seeing how Freddy came to his rescue would entrust him to talkto the people of the ten planets. Freddy also knew that with God, trust meant more power. He told the humans to stop leaping into heaven. He then took away all the wings of his followers. He had tricked them. With every new power Freddy gained his mind became more evil and power hungry. He convinced God that the angels were planning a rebellion against God. He convinced him that he would need more power to defeat them. God raised his hand and put upon Freddy great power. Freddy felt invincible with his newly granted power. He used this new power with great control and easily took the wings of any angels he wished. Suddenly, the angels began to look to Freddy as if he were God himself. Freddy convinced God that the angels souls were mistreating there power and using it to go to the ten planets and abuse the people there. He convinced god that he would need more power to stop them in their human form. He would need the power to judge souls. This job was God’s alone but God trusted Freddy with all his heart, so with his mighty hand he put the power onto Freddy. Freddy used this power to tell the difference between humans and angels. He took the wings of all the angels, and with that he gained more power. He then created a place where these evil souls could be punished. He called this place â€Hector yapok node roughly translated â€the place of lost souls or Hell. For being sent to This place meant no return. Freddy convinced God that the humans were being possessed by the souls of Hell. And with this god gave Freddy power that would be only a few short marks behind God himself. With this Freddy’s mind became one sided and not strategic. He attacked God with all his might. God began to weep with great pain. Freddy thought that victory was near but he was wrong. God was not crying off of pain of the attack but from the pain of lost. He sent Freddy to Hell. God let him keep the power to punish the souls that come and as a reminder that he will always be second to the all powerful and mighty, Lord God.

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A Freedom Worth Dying For

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The stars above shone upon me with their silent accusations as I slipped soundlessly into the window. It had taken me months to access the codes to allow me such undetected entry into the most highly guarded building in the world. I walked toward the inner door and paused, only for a second, before I marched to my fate. There was no turning back now. I looked about the room full of the venomous machines smugly humming their deathly tune, and I laughed, for tonight I would see their end and mine as well. The government would no longer use these life-sucking beasts to manipulate our minds.

The possession of opinions and the privacy of thought are the most fundamental of all human rights. Every man, no matter how simple, has thoughts and opinions in some form. Every opinion held by every person comes from a unique experience and should be respected, regardless of personal belief.

Despite the countless battles that have resulted due to differences in these thoughts and opinions, no man has the right to strip another of these privileges. Throughout history there have been countless holy wars fought because of religious differences, but none have conclusively chosen one correct system of beliefs. No government is justified in controlling these most basic rights, no matter how noble their intentions. Although it is true that all wars could be avoided if everyone held the same views, no one is faultless, hence, no leader is capable of deciding which outlook is truly correct. As promising as the idea of communism is, it cannot be successfully executed by human leaders; this was proven with the rise of Stalinism and other perversions of Marx's idea. Machines are made by the hands of man, and are equally incapable of deciding the true correct perspective. Therefore, any machine produced by a government is not suitable in regulating the thoughts of individuals.

I believe that life is dull without diversity. Living would be tedious if everyone thought and acted the same way. There would never be any surprises. Every action and its result would be predicted before it occurred. People know themselves very well; they understand how they will react to any given situation. In a society with identical thought patterns every response to a situation would be expected by all of it members because they know that is the way they would behave in that circumstance.

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Individuality of belief is what makes mankind unique. Of the species of Earth, humans are the only ones capable of complex thought. Others think of the same basic things, food and shelter. Humans, however, think beyond these basic principles and form within themselves ideas and opinions. I would not trade an eternity of peace for a world of mass produced drones; the world would lack the one thing that makes it beautiful, art. Art is not paintings or sculpture. Art is an expression of private and intense original emotions that cannot be taught, but must be found within the soul. If individualists were nonexistent, there would be no one able to convey their emotions to others in physical forms, such as music, poetry, and painting. In a dreary orb void of any splendor of this sort there would be no reason to breathe.

If ever there came a time when the sanctuary of the mind was invaded and my life could be sacrificed to end that tragedy, I would gladly give it. My life is insignificant compared to the freedoms of the citizens of our diverse world. And I will eternally strive for them to keep that diversity.

I sat down at the main controls and began to methodically enter the numbers that would disable all of the control devices implanted in millions of brains. As I entered the finial digit I celebrated the demise of the parasites that had long fed on the thoughts and dreams of the American people. My festivities were interrupted by the squawking of an alarm somewhere in the building and the sound of feet stampeding toward me. I began to input the self-destruct code into the monster, stopping before the last digit. As the guards rushed into the room I screamed, "Today with my insignificant life, I liberate the thoughts of my nation!" I entered the last figure and smiled at the look of terror in their eyes as the room burst into a thousand fiery pieces around them.

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